Resolution...a little late.

Stop.  Just stop what you're doing for a minute.

Feel that?  Those sparks going off inside your head?

Those are your thoughts.  

You might be thinking "this is weird, I wonder where he goes with this."  Maybe you're pondering about whether continuing to read this post is worth the time it's taking you away from facebook.  Heck, you might even just be scanning this entire paragraph looking for a 144 character text-bite to repost.  Either way, there are electrical impulses shooting through your brain, passing through floods of chemicals, and landing somewhere in your consciousness.

Don't do anything yet.

Do you feel something else?

There's a muted throbbing coming from your chest.

That's your heart.

The traditional center of your emotions, protected in its bony, fleshy prison, 

beating 

and beating 

and beating itself to keep you alive, trying to squeeze out the emotions, as colorful as blood and permeating, that rush to be expressed.  You might now feel amused, confused, or intrigued.  Maybe you're just plain bored.  Either way, there are feelings in your heart that yearn for expression and release.

I know these things are happening to you, because I am experiencing them too.  Every day I go through life, seeing different things, learning different things, and my perspective changes continually.  Every day I seek to connect with people, but usually just end up connecting to the internet and putting on a front for all my "friends" and followers.  And recently, I've realized that it doesn't do any good for anyone.  Because it's not real.

So here's my resolution for 2013, coming after a month of thought and procrastination.

I'm going to post on this blog every week, typically before the end of every Friday.  I'm going to share my thoughts, feelings, and experiences with those who care to pay attention.  I'm not going to guarantee any great philosophical musings, new and original comedy, or heart-wrenching drama, but it might show up.  What I will promise you is honesty.  These are going to be my real feelings, and I'll do my best not to sugar coat.  I'm not seeking for any specific audience, just casting my thoughts out there, trying to see how many ripples I can make.  (See what I did there?)

Comfortable Ruts

One of the most comfortable emotions I've ever felt is the bittersweet feeling you getting remembering the past.  I say it's comfortable because it doesn't require any work to do nor does it give the expectation for more work.  I think about what was, what could have been, what I would have changed and how that might have affected those around me.  At times I get a little sad thinking about the past and I don't really understand why.  My life is great as it is.  I have an amazing wife.  I've got a good job.  I enjoy where I'm headed.  But there are still those occasional nagging thoughts that push through my present from the past, like flowers squeezing between cracks in the sidewalk.  If I had been better to this person, would they be where they are now?  They once said this to me, did they mean it?  Does anyone else think about those experiences or am I the only one who hasn't seemed to move on?  How much of an impact did I have on their life?  When we knew eachother, was I important to them?  Did they value my friendship?  What changed?  Pestering, nagging thoughts that I'll never be able to answer, partly because I'm afraid of the answer.  If I really am the only one who has these thoughts, who remembers how friendships used to be and longs for that connection, coming to that realization would be crushing. And isolating.  The past is static and I know I cannot change it, but I, like a wool sock, seem doomed to cling to it.

Wish List

I wish...
-I was more sincere
-I could remember peoples' names
-I took more/better pictures
-I exercised more
-I was more thoughtful
-I served more people more often
-I was more friendly and welcoming
-I was more cheerful
-I made people feel important
-I was more consistent
-I was more positive
-I was more aware
-I was more spiritual
-I hung out with more people more often
-I thought better of myself

Best part of this wishlist: I can get everything on it.  I just need to work.

Chapter 9, # 46.

This was my response to a question on a take-home essay test for one of my communication classes.  If you can't tell, I had a bit of fun with it.

In his famous song “Ice Ice Baby,” rap artist Vanilla Ice tells his audience: “If you got a problem, yo, I'll solve it. Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.” I'm not sure what that second sentence means, but in order to make the first claim, Mr. Ice surely must have mastered the steps in the Problem-Solving Agenda, which are: 1) Define and delineate the problem; 2) Analyze the problem; 3) Identify alternative solutions; 4) Evaluate proposed solutions; 5) Choose the best solution.

Let's suppose that Mr. Ice is called upon to solve a problem in the produce department of a grocery store. “Vanilla,” the manager says, “we just don't know how to best organize our vegetables.” Mr. Ice then would (1) check everyone else's understanding by defining and delineating the problem, making sure all members of the group viewed the same issue as the problem. Then Mr. Ice might (2) analyze the problem by leading the produce department in a discussion about the importance of foodstuff organization, who will be affected and various limitations of size, counter-space and refrigeration. Next, discussion would continue with (3) members of the group brainstorming to identify possible solutions such as organization by color, size, scientific classification, storage capacity, popularity, number of syllables, etc. These solutions would be recorded and and then (4) evaluated based on appeal and feasibility. Perhaps placing pumpkins parallel to prunes would put-off potential patrons, but bananas by blueberries might bring big buyers. Upon evaluation of the proposed solutions, the (5) best solution is then chosen, with everyone lending their support in the carrying out of the decision

While the scenario may be fictitious and even a little ridiculous, the process remains true. In following the Problem-Solving Agenda, groups can creatively, effectively and efficiently resolve whatever problems may arise. If these steps are taken, not only will important issues be taken care of, but the group will become more cohesive through the process. Maybe that's the “hook” Vanilla told us to check out.

Lives changed by blueberry donuts

For anyone who rides the bus, has ridden the bus or ever will ride the bus (or any form of public or group transportation), you know/will know that it's typically a pretty silent experience.  It's almost as if people fear to interact with eachother nowadays.  No one talks to anyone else, unless they know them, and if anyone catches you looking at them, even if it's just a glance, you both look away immediately as if the other person has a disease that can be spread through eye contact.  The seats on a bus can be exactly half full with every other seat available, and yet there will still be people standing because they don't want to sit by anyone they don't know.  I think that might be why all the lifeboats from the Titanic were only half full; I can just imagine these people standing knee deep in water on the deck of the sinking ship cursing themselves for choosing hypothermia over social awkwardness.  But anyway, back to my story.
Last week, coming home from school, the bus was moderately full, full enough that about every other seat was taken (yes, people were standing).  I chose to sit down next to a kid I had seen on the bus several times before, whom I really enjoyed watching.  (Yes, I watch people.)  This kid, in some aspects, reminded me of me.  He had what seemed like a direct connection between his brain and his face (ok, looking back at that sentence it sounds really dumb.  And obvious.  Of course he has a connection between his brain and his face!  That's how people move their faces!  But that's not what I meant.  Let me explain...).  He would do what I know for a fact what I do when I need something to amuse myself: I think, and that will show on my face.  I look around, I furrow my brow, I chuckle at something funny to myself, I'll even sometimes shake or nod my head to emphasize a point in the private discussion happening within my mind.  And he does the same thing, so it's really fun to watch.  But anyway, back to my story.
I sit down next to this kid and introduce myself, we get to talking and having a grand ol' time.  Today, basically the same scenario occurred.  Get on the bus, mostly full, seat next to Mike (the kid) is open, so I sit down.  I had just been to Wal-Mart with my friend Laura and purchased an 8-count box of blueberry cake donuts for only $1.50, which was $1 off the original price, so naturally I offer one to Mike, who accepts.  Then, another girl I had conversed with in the past whom I hadn't noticed was on the bus asked if she could have one.  Certainly!  This leads me to explain the phenomenal value of the box of donuts, which starts a bus-wide discussion on the merits of blueberry donuts.  One girl (K...ylie?  I think) even calculated that it came out to $.18 a donut, which lead to another conversation about typical donut pricing, etc.  By the time I got off the bus, everyone was talking to everyone else, having a positive social experience on a bus ride instead of individual silent brooding sessions.
Every interaction we have with other people has an impact on our lives.  A smile from a stranger can make someone's day, kind words in passing could brighten a spirit, a small act of service can have a large impact.  Today on the bus, people communicated with eachother because of a tiny social stimulus.  In short, lives were changed by blueberry donuts.

Hi!

Hello all, and welcome to my blog. Honestly, I'm kinda new at this, so expect a total lack of continuity and/or consistency in postings.  Due to this "blog noob"-ness of mine, I'm open to suggestions on content, layout, frequency and such-like.  Honestly, I don't know what I'm going to fill these metaphysical pages with, apart from random ramblings begun as some sort of explanation or commentary on a specific happpening that eventually sprouts into a jumbled kerfuffle of something that only slightly resembles proper english.  Hopefully it doesn't get to that point, but in the event that it does I am...not really that apologetic.  I mean, you're the one still reading it.  Though, a good writer always considers his audience.  Then again, what if the audience begins to demand to be kerfuffed, an experience that they entirely miss out on if at first the writer writes well?  Might I be held responsible for the squandering of a potentially world-altering revolution in media?  Should there be regulations to keep authors from doing anything too mainstream for the mainstream?  Do I want to be known for the rest of my life as a "quip clipper"?  HA!  No my friends and compatriots, I shall not be shackled to the swiftly sinking ship of self-promoting monotony!  It's time to explore new worlds!  It's time to express to ideas!  It's time to blog about it!